i have spent far too much time looking at pictures of people i think i used to know and assuming that, because they are smiling in the pictures they have posted on facebook, that their life is better than mine. now, i don't need facebook to make this assumption, but it does make it possible without leaving the house. its classic judging my insides by another person's outsides. and it gets me focused on all the things i am not.
the problem is, of course, that there is nothing wrong with not being something. i have never really felt bad about not being a doctor, and even tv shows like house can bring me to the point of fainting. why is it harder to accept that i am not a rich lawyer? maybe because it seems like something i could do, if i had the ambition. the truth is that the only real ambition i have had in my own life is to drink myself into a stupor somewhere warm enough to be outside year round.
so, i have discovered somethings better than that. a fellowship, a family, worthwhile employment. these things don't make for great content on facebook all the time. paul theroux laments that virtuous people are not very interesting to write about. not that i am virtuous, but i'm trying. the last time i was with one of those interesting facebook people, she missed the whole party passed out on the bed. that picture has not made it onto her profile yet.
2 comments:
saweeet! a new poster. thanks for sharin JC. can definitely relate. waste far too many hours on facebook, but still i love the connection. it's a kind of nostalgia, a sort of addiction in and of itself.
didn't know you were a gemini. as am i. and i think swizzle, too. there's something about the twins....
Right on JC. Right on. Now that's what we're talking about. Your post helped me a ton. Thanks. Insides and outsides are near and dear to me. And thinking I know what people are thinking and saying about me. And trying to keep up appearences only to be more lonely. I'm grateful that stuff doesn't have as big a grip on me than it once did.
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